Every New Year I can’t help feeling excited at the thought of a fresh start, a new chance to begin life, or make the changes I have always wanted. At the end of each year however, I’d be hard-pressed to remember what my ambitions were or whether or not I feel successful.
This year, I have chosen to focus instead on reflecting. Reflecting on the year that was and what I have achieved and learned.
There are a few sad things that I have learned about myself; that I spend too much time looking at my phone; that I don’t often live in the moment without feeling the urge to capture the ‘memory’ on my phone or camera; that despite my idealistic lifestyle being minimalist, I am addicted to buying new things; that when I buy the things that make me feel better in the moment, they do not contribute in any way to my happiness; and that I can be a really lazy person who would choose to stay home rather than go on a bike ride with my family.
It is an overwhelming list and one that I am not proud of, but I wanted to be honest. These are the things that I don’t like about myself. But I don’t want to dwell on these things…
The things that I have achieved in 2017 include; finding work life balance and feeling good about the amount of time I can spend at home with my daughter; starting a blog that I have used to express my thoughts (but have kept quiet for now), starting a photography course and learning just how much perseverance and practice is needed for improvement; cooking more and enjoying it; getting through two miscarriages and still remaining positive for my next pregnancy; and a marriage which I am so incredibly grateful for – one that is nurturing and contributes to my growth. I admit that last one was corny but it’s the way I feel – sorry not sorry.
All in all, the message is that for every year that passes, there are things to be proud of and things to learn – all I hope is that at the end of the year I can be proud of my achievements and aware of my lessons.
No resolutions here – just some space and time for reflection and growth.