In the weeks since losing our babe, friends of mine have given birth, and others have announced their pregnancy news. What a beautiful time for those around us!

I have felt so confronted by their joy and it has truly made me question my sense of self.

The disappointment and sadness I feel comes from both the loss and that I am missing out on the shared pregnancy with my girlfriends; a tribe who helped me through my first pregnancy and those newborn weeks and who are now heading into birth and babies again (and long coffee dates with sleepy newborns).

Having had a few weeks to reflect and rebuild, I am now in a much better space to feel true joy for my friends. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me sad at the same time but in all honesty I know that things will happen when they are meant to and that my time will come.

For now, I will continue to be gentle on myself, to swallow the tonic prepared carefully by my naturopath and to enjoy my daughter who needs all the love and attention of her parents for a little while longer.

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