It takes time to accept the tragedy that happens in life. Acceptance can’t be rushed and the pain doesn’t go away; we merely learn to deal with our new reality. Unfortunately time doesn’t stop in order for you to process what you’re going through and I guess this may help in the long term but at the time it feels as though your experience is not significant.
I can’t help it but when I am in a challenging situation I seem to compare my issue with what others have faced before me. I think this helps me find a rational point of view and assists in my healing.
Having recently lost a baby, a child that I had dreamt of and visualised so much, I couldn’t have known the devastation that this creates for a family and I justifiably took the time to feel many emotions. However, at the time of entering theatre for a procedure called a D & C I thought of all the people I know who have been through so much more trauma than me and sadly it put me at ease.
I have lost a brother-in-law to brain cancer, a beautiful friend to bowel cancer, a cousin to a rare tumour and these amazing people went through so many treatments and surgeries that had huge risks and consequences. I will never know the anxiety or pain that they went through because we each individually experience things differently. I do know however, that even with a simple and straightforward procedure looming, I felt scared to the point of tears and worried beyond measure.
With the procedure firmly behind me, and the chaos of appointments and testing finished, I have found peace in accepting that things must happen for a reason. My daughter obviously needs me for longer without sharing my love, and my body needed to recover wholly from a year of relaxed health and rebuild in order to grow life in the future.
It is hard to find the time to heal and recover, but I have made it my priority with massages, naturopathy, and rest. Amongst the chaos I have found peace and also a quote from Freda Kahlo: “at the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can”.