Reflecting on the last 12 months, I am amazed with my own growth and change; giving birth, navigating life with a newborn, and watching a baby become a little person has allowed me to grow into the most real version of myself.
Acceptance and trust are the most important aspects of life as a mum. Accepting that I do not have control and trusting that everyone around me has the best intentions for my daughter.
I didn’t realise until Margot came along that I was so headstrong, rigid, and in control. Surrendering these aspects of myself to make way for more tolerance, calm, and acceptance has been 12 months in the making (and I am still learning).
Not every day makes me feel a sense of achievement. In fact, most days I feel anxious, tired, overwhelmed, and confused. It’s in the days reflection that I realise subtle changes in me and the sense that I am slowly becoming the mother I aspire to be.
When you’re pregnant, you dream of slow days drinking coffee with friends, walking along the Jetty, and finding delight in every hiccup and smile. For the most part, by the time you feel confident enough to enjoy all of that, your sweet newborn is now a toddler and life is even less about your needs and wants. So a takeaway coffee and a play on the grass is the trade-off.
As I sail past the first twelve months of being mum to my girl and continue at high speed into toddlerhood, I am forgetting about the stitches, breastfeeding issues, inconsolable crying, and constant spewing and growing more in awe of my little creation – my daughter.