Life before my daughter was full of goals, expectations, intentions, and planning. It had structure, routine and predictability. My husband and I lived a cafe lifestyle on the weekend and planned overseas trips on a yearly basis. Becoming a mother was always on my mind however, I underestimated just how much my life would change. So many mothers before me would have felt the ultimate shift in their life but I didn’t get the memo. Or maybe, I just didn’t listen?

I found the first week of being mum to my daughter such a traumatic and emotional experience. I was exhausted, sore, teary and ultimately, overwhelmed. I had an army of help and didn’t cook dinner for over four weeks! But it was a very steep learning curve and one that I just wasn’t prepared for.

It basically started with labour.

A routine check up would have me staying in hospital to be induced and I wouldn’t be leaving the hospital without a baby. I had to surrender to the idea that labour and birth would be out of my control – and soon shifted my mindset to accepting that a healthy baby at the end of it all was all that mattered. There were hints all along that things don’t go to ‘plan’. So many birth stories and people telling me what it will be like but I was quietly confident that everything would be fine.

It was.

Margot Autumn was born into the water with dimmed lighting and soft music playing. It was calm, quiet, and warm. I will spare you the finer details but ultimately, it was the calm before the storm of motherhood.

The biggest lesson for me since Margot has been earth-side, has been losing the predictable, structured aspects of life and learning to go with the flow. My day will be chaos if I try too hard to have goals or plans so my day must revolve around my daughter.

For my next pregnancy, I will remove expectations and won’t even have an ‘ideal’ scenario for labour and birth so as to avoid disappointment. I assure you if you’re pregnant reading this, you will be fine. No plans, no google, no expectations and you will be fine.

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